Author Topic: My Dark, My Light  (Read 1776 times)

AuroraExecution

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My Dark, My Light
« on: May 20, 2008, 04:00:02 PM »
This is something I wrote for my dear Saga and Kani.  It is brotherly angstfluff, because I've been watching a music video (it's on youtube) about them done to "The Great Divide" by Tarja Turunen.  (Go watch, it's gorgeous.)


My Dark, My Light

You are here. 

You are here because you always were here, right here, inside me. 

My light. 

You followed everywhere I led, trusted me implicitly.  You walked with me until I stumbled forward into the dust, because I had reached my limit, and I was ready to admit I was weak and sick and we were not going to make it.  You held my arm and lifted me to my feet and told me I was strong.  We would make it through anything, you said, because I was there for you, and your big brother was greater than anything in the world.  And when anyone else said otherwise, you punched them in the face.  You laughed afterwards, telling me about the ordeal as I cleaned your cuts and tried to stop your bleeding, and then you fell asleep still sitting next to me, with your arms around my waist, like you wanted to protect me.  Like you were afraid to let me go.  You were so small, so fragile.  I realized that day that I was not much bigger.  You always annoyed me and teased me while I was trying to work, and yet I laughed.  I took the blame for your scrapes consistently, but it was all right, because you cried and told me you could take responsibility for your own actions.  But how could I let you?  You were my light, the one precious thing in my life, and the only thing I wanted to protect back then.  And now.  And forever.  I wanted to keep you beside me.  I didn't realize you were always here. 

My dark. 

Like my shadow, the only one who never abandoned me, but who never demanded anything of me.  I didn't notice you falling.  I didn't notice you disappearing into your blackness.  And one day, you were gone.  But you weren't really, were you?  We two were both creatures of grey, meshes of white and black together, and, just as we could never truly be separated from each other, we could not separate the halves of our personalities.  That darkness that overtook both of us--that was simply the dark half moving away from the light half, wasn't it?  And when you asked me to join you, thinking in your innocence (yes, innocence--even in darkness, we were innocent) that I would never refuse you anything, because I had never done so before, and you were thunderstruck when I suddenly attacked you in a blatant no.  I know you were hurt by it, and when I shut you away like I was ashamed of you.  In truth, I hurt myself too.  I wasn't ashamed--I was frightened.  Frightened your darkness would be mirrored by mine, because my world always mirrored yours.  Frightened I would lose you, and myself, and what little I had to hold on to.  I lost myself anyway.  But I had you, all along, because you were my darkness, in a way.  Just like you were me, in a way.  I wished and wished back then, that we could go back to the terrible days before Sanctuary, when you and I were tough children who were happy because we were both there.  But days passed, and things happened, and suddenly, now, we're here together again.

My brother. 

You are...really here with me again.  I never, ever thought I would see you again.  I thought I had killed you.  But we are always more than we seem, are we not, brother?  We are always black and white, dark and light, two halves and two wholes.  We put ourselves back together again, rejoined the dark with the light, and found our real selves within.  Neither the weak, crying children, nor the mad, cruel manipulators we had once been.  Everyone has a journey to find themselves, Kanon, and I guess ours was just more difficult and longer than usual.  But in the end, we were what we always have been, just in one piece now, your half and mine put back together.  And even if one cannot unshatter a mirror, we can put the pieces back together and live again. 

You are my darkness, Kanon, every despicable deed I've done is rooted in you as well as me. 

You are also my light, and you are the one who finds the best parts of my twisted, multicolored personality. 

But most importantly, Kanon...

...you are my brother. 
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My lyric translations: http://www.freewebs.com/kikipixie

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Re: My Dark, My Light
« Reply #1 on: June 14, 2008, 11:50:18 AM »
Another sweet yet dark one-shot by you.  Kanon and Saga truly are amazing characters, because they make a lot of slip-ups and they know there are never any justifications for them.  Hyoga grows to respect Camus sinking his mother deeper into the water, Deathmask and Aphrodite got away with being a total jerks/murderers, Shura repents but was really just misguided, and Aiolia can justify his crimes due to Saga's Genromaoken.

And then we have Saga and Kanon, two brothers that just keep bungling everything.  They each succumb to their vices and shortcomings, and never have any true excuses.  Kanon was never driven mad and had mental clarity all throughout the series, and Saga at least *seemed* to be in his right mind when he locked Kanon up at Cape Sounion, which could be considered his start of darkness.  And no matter the burdens they face, they just keep trying to repent.

Bravo.
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AuroraExecution

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Re: My Dark, My Light
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2008, 10:58:20 AM »
SSA: Thank you.  That was a beautiful reply, and I'm glad to see you enjoyed it and got so much out of it.
Profile pic from eLouai's dollmaker at http://www.elouai.com

My lyric translations: http://www.freewebs.com/kikipixie

The Epic has come!  The Arcadavia Menasui Webcomic: http://www.freewebs.com/arcadaviamenasui

Qin's Moon fansub: http://community.livejournal.com/wanzhongsubs