Author Topic: Chronicles of Avalon: Part1-Twilight of the MoonGoddess  (Read 2990 times)

Mikael Aurelius

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Chronicles of Avalon: Part1-Twilight of the MoonGoddess
« on: January 22, 2008, 07:19:39 AM »
Ok; everything here is subject to change from the final finished version; this is what I have so far.
  In order to attain a certain depth to the characters, several have been based off of real people that I know personally. They know who they are, and out of respect for their privacy I will not reveal who they are here.

I will be posting the Prologue to part one shortly.
  I hope everyone who reads this enjoys it; Feel free to leave comments and criticisms.

This story would likely fall into the Fantasy category, like other well known titles such as Eragon and Lord of the Rings.

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Re: Chronicles of Avalon: Part1-Twilight of the MoonGoddess
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2008, 07:21:14 AM »
Prologue
   Wheel of Fate

   This story takes place in an alternate realm of magick and mysticism, a world where the great beasts known as dragons still lived and flew the skies; a world known as Gaea, a place where the force called Mana sustained all things in a delicate balance. For the duration of your journey in Gaea, I; Kronos, one of the great sages, shall be your guide. Though before your journey begins, I will need to inform you of several of the customs and territorial regions of Gaea. The world is divided into several territories, each one centered around its own capital city, and within the boundaries of the territories lie many towns; several are under constant threat from nomadic bandit groups that pillage and plunder all areas without the slightest concerns over the territories. These territories each have a powerful military, though the smallest territory; Archades, is the most powerful military force in Gaea, with their legions, and the pride of their army; the dragon riders. The territories are generally allied through a loose agreement. Silvetdine; the Sky City is located deep within the largest mountain range that stretches all along the northen area of Gaea, though the enterance is near the base of the mountain range. Archades is located in the mid-region and is bordered by Silvetdine to the north, and the sacred forest, which surrounds the ancient ruins of Eldasvan.
   Nearly a century before our story begins, a seer called Elijah predicted the end of the known world. He predicted a war that would bind opposing bloodlines. This war, he said, would precede the coming of several great warriors that will serve as the executioners of the Gods, and only before the true messanger of the Gods would these four warriors kneel. They will begin a new war that will raze the wicked and evil with a cleansing flame.
   Thirty years later there was a war between demons and celestials, a war that resulted in many halfbreeds and crossbreeds, a war that lasts almost a decade. All of Elijah's predictions had been accurate to both time period and to events mentioned, so none thought that this one would be any different; yet none could ever have predicted the betrayals and deceptions that would bring about the war of judgement. The war that would be fought to preserve life, and push the dark forces to an even farther plane. A knight of black who fought for both sides, a forsaken warrior who lived in the darkness of war, a misguided youth set on destroying all that is evil, a drifter who lived in accordance with his own will, and a maiden who walked upon the path of light in the darkest times, a mysterious man with command over the elements, and a humble fortune teller hiding a deep dark secret about the world; Gaea.
   At the close of the war, groups of sellswords and soldiers began working as "Demon Hunters" and would execute in the name of the Gods anyone who stood against them, as well as anyone who they percieved to be "possessed" or "demons". This continued for many years as these "Demon Hunters" rose to power and secured most of the known world under their influence. After three decades Father Kraus, a new recruit at the time, encountered Mikael, a crossbreed that lived long enough to reach young adulthood. They crossed swords, and both fought valiantly. It was as the sun was setting on the western horizon that Mikael had managed to push Father Kraus past his physical limits, ending their duel with barely enough strength left in him to place his now one ton short sword against Father Kraus' throat, before dropping the sword and collapsing to his knees. Father Kraus picked up, scheathed his sword, and walked away, leaving the still breathing crossbreed to rest and recuperate; knowing that they would one meet again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

   Elsewhere, in the slums of Silvetdine, a young seer was laying cards upon a table a total of 9 cards were layed out in three triangle formations. The first formation of cards were the 4 of swords at the top point which had 4 swords all pointing towards a single point, the 3 of cups, representing celebrations and reunions, and The Moon; representing changing times and the changes of a constant cycle.
   The middle triangle had The Death at the top point, representing a coming change, one to bring release from current situations, The Wheel of Fortune, representing the shifting of gears, the wheel of fate is beginning to spin, and The Chariot; representing a glorious victory over overwhelming odds.
   The third triangle had The Tower, at the top point, representing the manifestation of the changes predicted in The Death; Judgement; representing the reaping of what is sowed, things that are meant to happen, are coming to fruition, and The Sun; the bright new light of a new day, the coming days are the beginning of a golden age. The seer stood and looked to a young woman who was sitting across the table from him. "Young miss; I hate to say this, but the road ahead will be rough, and there will be times when you will wish to just give up, though keep faith and a strong heart and you will prevail. The wheel of fate has begun to spin for you, and you will embark upon a journey that will alter the fate of this world. There will be others who will support you, and you will find them in places you would never expect. I look forward to seeing you again, and seeing how you have progressed between now and the next time we meet".   The young woman looked to the seer, and asked politely "How much do I owe you for...?" though he raised his hand and placed his finger upon her lips before she could finish speaking "There is no need, this is an interesting fate layed out before you, and I would like to see how you rise to meet it, that is payment enough, and we will meet again when the paths of fate dictate us to."
   The young woman bowed her head and stood quietly, whispering a soft "Thank you" before leaving the small single roomed building where the local fortune teller lived, after she had left to go about her buisness another young woman, one about the same age as the fortune teller, walked out into the room from behind the curtain in the back as he spoke. "We should move on soon, that one will have an interesting story to tell when we meet her again, she will not be alone when next our paths cross with hers."

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Re: Chronicles of Avalon: Part1-Twilight of the MoonGoddess
« Reply #2 on: January 22, 2008, 07:22:26 AM »
Chapter 1
   Prophet's Dream

After their first battle, Mikael's lust for battle was awakened. He left home and began wandering the borders, jumping into any skirmishes that he found, not particlarly caring which side he was assisting, he ended up crippling both sides as he wasn't discriminating between friend and foe. As the years passed he grew more proficient with the blade and was lured to the lair of a dragon by a faint intoxicating melody. The ancient dragon that dwelled in that lair was a large black and red dragon with deep crimson eyes, eyes that Mikael stared into as he spoke. "Are you the one that called me here?" he demanded, which only annoyed the ancient creature, as a means of testing the youthful boy whose clothes were stained red with the blood of his enemies, it moved to claw him, intentionally missing, its front right claw tips cut his clothes as they dug into the ground at his feet. Mikael repeated his question without even the slightest signs of fear, he took a few steps closer to the great beast as he heard its voice, like a resounding echo, inside his head "You look human, yet you smell more like a demon. You have been led here by the most valuable possession in my hoard; The Angel's Song". Mikael didn't flinch, instead he looked straight to the dragon's face and said "Then I shall take this thing called the Angel's Song, and find out from it why it called me here". The dragon roared at him, and reared back and was about to unleash its blaze against him when he spoke again "I will not back down, you will surrender it to me, I know that I can not take it by force, but you will not be rid of me unless I leave with it." He walked over to the wall, and sat down, leaning against the wall and waited, eventually drifting off to sleep. Dumbfounded the dragon stopped its attack and just stared at him, pondering what it was that made this boy, of no more than 12 years, have such a strong will.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
That night; Elijah had a vision-like dream of things to come; A vision of a battle in a quickly approaching war, a war when humans, halflings, demons, and rebel celestials rebelled once more against the Gods. He saw, against a crimson hued horizon, a single sillouette admist a hoard of corpses, fallen warriors of both sides. There were several other wounded soldiers that would not survive. In the distance a legion of celestials that was ready to secure their victory.
The sillouette stood with the rising sun against his back.
"Charge!!" The shout broke the silence of the battlefield, which was followed by the resounding noise of the legion charging "I can not allow myself to be defeated here" he thought as he raised his sword into the air, shouting as the rays of the morning sun reflected off the blade of his sword "I am Sariel, recall the name on your journey to hell, Send 1 or 1000 men, I will not fall here, now let me show you the glory you seek". He stood defiantly against the charging legion, pointing the sword at their commander before breaking through their ranks to reach him. Before the sun could reach the height of the sky, the legion was scattered and broken, there were nearly 90% casualties. "Those of..." It was then that Elijah has woken from his sleep and recorded his vision as was custmary for him to do after he had a vision.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
At the imperial capital; Archades. There was a council being held at which each of the chief hunters was required to make their routine reports. Father Kraus, who had changed much in the past few years, was called forth to make his report, in which he mentioned that he intends to pursue a crossbreed, one that survived his initial attempt at purification. Father Kraus was granted ten soldiers, among them being the young Silver, and Serra*. Two promising youths from noble bloodlines. The three, as well as seven other young but skilled fighters set out in pursuit of Mikael.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
On the morning of the third day of being in the dragon's lair, Mikael awoke to find a beautiful longsword forged from an unknown material. The handle was perfectly wrapped in a deep crimson leather and there was a rather large sapphire in the pommel, in addition to three more smaller gems in the hilt on each side, there was one oval shaped ruby in the center of the hilt and one round emerald one either side of the ruby. An equally decorated scheathe resting on the floor next to the sword. Mikael picked up the sword, and for its size was surprisingly light, with each flick of his wrist the sword moved gracefully through the air, creating a soft soothing sound with each swing. The sword made music to his ears as he practiced with it, unaware of how sharp and strong the blade itself actually was, or to the kind of power locked deep within it.

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Re: Chronicles of Avalon: Part1-Twilight of the MoonGoddess
« Reply #3 on: January 22, 2008, 07:23:30 AM »
Chapter 2
   Echoing Blades

It had been some months before Father Kraus and his group had managed to track down their elusive target, they were on his trail, but always seemed to be one step behind him. During the squad's pursuit of their elusive target they had heard several rumors about him, and how he had come to be called the angel of death. They heard stories of how he had killed one hundred imperial soldiers without ever breaking a sweat or letting even a single drop of blood touch him. Stories of how he could kill people by looking at them, to stories of how compassionate he was towards those in need. Many of the stories that they had heard were believed to be blatant lies or fabricated truths, as far as Father Kraus had believed, though the exact degree of truth in these stories had escaped the ears of his pursuers. Silver and Serra* were the only ones who had ever taken Father Kraus' warnings and cautions seriously, since they both understood he had faced their opponent once before and knew what to expect from him. They had been on his trail for nearly five months before they had actually caught up to him. They hunted him, and for the first two months of their hunt, heard nothing more than rumors and felt as though they were chasing after something that didn't even exist. By the end of the third month though they began to find physical evidence of his travelling, travelling that seemed to be aimless to them. Though whenever they found something it seemed to be a few steps behind, they always ended up doing too little, too late; but perservered through their hunt of this demonic creature, unaware of how close, yet how far they actually were from him. This continued for another few months until they finally caught up to him. Their orders were to seek him out and kill him, once they had surrounded him, seven of them were too focused on the glory, and the thrill of the hunt to pay attention to what was they were warned about, and didn't take into account that some of the rumors may have been true. The seven soldiers advanced on him by their orders, despite Father Kraus' commands to use caution. It wasn't long before Silver, Serra*, and Father Kraus realized that Mikael had improved greatly in both strength and dexterity. The seven that surrounded him didn't last long enough against Mikael to test his endurance, but it was clear he improved himself there as well. His new sword had the most beautiful melody as he cut down the seven who advanced on him without taking proper precautions then slowly began walking towards the remaining three templars. Serra* was staring at him in both disbelief and fear, as he in only a few moments slaughtered seven of the most skilled fighters she had ever known; while at the same time, she knew that she would need to fight him soon. Silver had a smile on his face and his sword in hand, ready to fight and test himself against the first real opponent he had ever faced. Mikael turned to face the remaining three fighters and approached them slowly. Silver was the first to charge, and swung his large sword vertically downward, an attack that was easily blocked by Mikael who had countered with a rising diagonal strike from Silver's left side to his right. The youthful templar showed why he had his rank and was the first to block one of Mikael's attacks. Though he blocked it, he was disarmed as Mikael spun while jumping with the strike, bringing the pommel to the side of Silver's head, rendering him unconscious before he hit the ground.
Mikael landed gracefully and began advancing towards them again. Father Kraus shouted to Serra* told her to flee and return to the capital while he held Mikael at bay because it was clear Mikael had no intention of pursuing them beyond where they were fighting. Serra* ran off as fast as she could, her destination the imperial capital to deliver a message from Father Kraus, and to escape from the monster they were sent to destroy. Father Kraus held him at bay for some time, but was clearly outmatched and was eventually knocked to the ground, his sword landed several feet to his side and behind him, Mikael moved closer and placed his sword to Father Kraus' throat. "Your names"
Mikael said as his blade began to draw blood from his downed opponent's throat. "...Kraus...Silver...Serra*". Mikael looked into his eyes "Do as you wish, but if we fight again I will kill you. My debt is repaid" Mikael turned and walked off towards his destination, the gates to the city of Silvetdine, the Sky City.
Kraus looked to Silver, who was still unconscious, and carried him into Silvetdine, then to the local tavern and left him in the care of the tavern owner before following Mikael's trail deeper into the city, tracking him was much harder alone than it was with the group of fighters that he had been travelling with, though he managed to track him to a local tavern within the week, and met up with him inside.

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Re: Chronicles of Avalon: Part1-Twilight of the MoonGoddess
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2008, 07:26:04 AM »
Chapter 3
   The Angel's Song

It wasn't long before word of the arrival of the "Angel of Death" in Silvetdine was the main subject of gossip, especially in the slums of the city. Jessica had heard much of him and his accomplishments, like how he killed 100 imperial soldiers without even breaking a sweat. Of course she knew this was, like all rumors and gossip, an exageration, but she still, against her better judgement, headed out into the city to find this "living legend" and see if he was all he was said to be.
Before even reaching the local tavern, the center of gossip, and the place weary travellers stopped to rest during their travels she was ambushed and cornered in an alley by several men, one of her victims and several of his friends. She saw a single wanderer in a cloak walking towards them, afraid of what they might be planning to do to her she called out to him "Help me, these...". The closest one to her reached out and tried to grab her arm, unaware that doing so sealed their fates. She could feel the wind of a large object passing her at high speed, and saw several flashes of light reflecting off of a blade. With each movement, each swing of the sword, she could hear the most beautiful music, an elegant, yet sorrowful melody. The blood of his victims painted the walls and street, yet not even a single drop was on him, her, or his sword which he had returned to its scheathe before continueing on his way without even waiting for a thank you.
She was stunned for several seconds by both the captivating song, as well as what she had just witnessed. He was still within sight when she regained her composure and followed him to the local inn, no more than a few buildings away from the run down building that she had made her home in.

The following morning she had gone to the local tavern, as was her custom, and saw him and five others sitting at a table in the back of the tavern. Four of them she could tell were nobles, the other was dressed more casually, much like her rescuer from the night before. As she approached them the nobles glared at her, the drifter gave her a pleasant smile, and her rescuer offered her a seat. She happily accepted and sat to his right side, one of the nobles gave her a disgusted look and the other drifter spoke "If you have a problem with her presence, you have a problem with ours as well" Her rescuer had motioned for the other drifter to allow him to speak for himself before speaking as he glared at the nobles "I really hate your kind, governed only by your wealth. Get out of my sight, our buisness is over. If we meet again after this, nothing will save you from my blade". His companion stood and offered to escort them out while speaking a single warning "Whatever you have done, has made him extremely angry, I suggest you leave now before he decides to just kill you here and now".
One of them reached for his weapon to attack them, and everyone else got to watch the foolishness of his action as he fell to the ground with a large cut in his throat; Jessica heard that song again for a brief moment, and the others hurried out of the tavern.
The drifter put his sword away and looked to the young woman as he called the tendress over for a few drinks as though nothing had happened. "Here, this is for our drinks, and the rest is for the trouble and the mess". Then looking over to her he introduced himself "...Mikael...", the other drifter looked to her "My name is Kraus, it is nice to meet you miss.." she finished for him, introducing herself to them "Jessica"
With their introductions finished, and their drinks delivered to them, Kraus looked over to Mikael with a very stern expression "Mikael; you need to learn restraint when using that sword of yours".
"...Mikael..." she thought as she looked at him, for the first time seeing his face, as he was looking back at her as if he knew what she was thinking, his somewhat long hair was tied back in a low ponytail, his eyes were a deep blue like the ocean. "Mikael, what kind of girls do you like?" she asked him while moving herself a bit closer to him; Kraus seemed perplexed by her actions, and Mikael ignored her advances and stood, motioning to the back door. "Miss Jessica, we should leave through the back, we need to go someplace that we can lay low for a few days, they likely discovered the bodies near the outskirts of the city and have come here to question people". Jessica nodded and the two made their way to the back door as Mikael moved towards the main enterance "I'll hold them here and meet up with you later on".
Kraus nodded "Our presence here is likely no longer welcome, so we need to lay low until we can get out of here". "You can stay with me at my home, I know it isn't much but they won't bother looking for you there" Jessica then headed out the back door, Kraus kept close to her as they headed for her home.
"Mother...please guide my blade to a swift victory against my foes" Mikael said softly as he opened the doors to the tavern and walked out. Kraus and Jessica could hear a chorus of angels singing in the streets near the tavern as Mikael fought and overwhelemed the imperial soldiers who were sent to pursue him and his companion Kraus.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Jessica and Kraus had reached the rundown and abandoned building that she called her home, they quietly entered the building and Kraus began fortifying it with numerous symbols and glyphs, then placed a large red stone on the ground before sitting down to wait for Mikael to arrive.
"How will he find us here?" Jessica asked her new aquaintance more to keep herself busy than to find out why he would be able to find them. He answered by pointing to the stone. "I don't know why, but for some reason he is drawn to that stone, and it gives off a strange energy when he is around it. I do, however, have some advice for you in regards to Mikael.
Don't allow yourself to be seduced by the siren's song of his sword, it has led many people, most of which talented warriors, to their deaths, like the forty five calvary men that moved to capture or kill us. He left survivors, likely to inform others of his success, but he does not seem arrogant enough to care what others think of him. His methods still escape me."
Jessica nodded and looked to Kraus as the sun was moving closer to the horizon. "It is truely a beautiful melody, though I'm more interested in him than in his toy and the noises it can make, but he said he would be back before sunset and the sun is already setting...Mikael! How did you find us here?"
Mikael stood in the open doorway, slightly tired from his rather interesting and very eventful day.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

At Archades; two cloaked figures approached the city; one had a large sword strapped to his back; the other carried no weapons; the two guards that blocked the gates were knocked into the walls by a gust of wind; then the man with the large sword swung at the gates; which splintered at the contact of his sword against them. As the gates splintered apart the duo began to advance into the city of Archades, towards the imperial castle; they remained uncontested even after arriving at the castle.

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Re: Chronicles of Avalon: Part1-Twilight of the MoonGoddess
« Reply #5 on: January 22, 2008, 07:30:22 AM »
Chapter 4: Chance Encounters
   Meetings of Fate

   In the slums of Silvetdine Jessica sat and listened to Mikael's story of what had happened, unaware of the growing legion preparing to march on Silvetdine, intent on capturing the bandits believed to be hiding out within the capital city itself. "You must have had a rough time then, with that many soldiers, how did you ever make it out of there in one piece?" Jessica asked him, a hint of concern in her voice as she spoke to the youth who had only known battle, unaware of the kindness and compassion of others. She sat, obviously worried about his safety, and concerned for his health, as he sat there and looked around the building. "Jessica, you said your name was"  She nodded and smiled, happy that someone as famous, or infamous depending on where you looked at it from, had remembered her name. "Do you have a map in here?", his question caught her and Kraus completely off guard.
   After rummaging through her collection of stuff for several minutes she had found and old worn map that barely showed any detail, though having been there before, he was able to approximate how far it was between Silvetdine and Archades, and he also was able to figure out about how long it would take for the dragon riders to reach Silvetdine, as he had heard the legions of Archades were advancing on Silvetdine's borders. "We have three days before they make their move if my calculations are right, Jessica, you are coming with us, are you not?". When Mikael asked her if she would come along with them, she couldn't help but say yes, it was the chance of a lifetime, and she wasn't going to just sit around and let it pass her by. It was a chance that there would be little to regret if she took it, and everything to regret if she didn't. "Just give me a few minutes to get my stuff together". Was the only response that came from her, though she wanted to say much more to them.
   "We are travelling light, so take no more than you can carry, and I would advise getting a cloak or something like it to help hide your face, you were seen with us, so if you stay here you will be targeted to get to us. We need to get to the bottom of this, and all of our answers lie in Archades". The three of them took care of their preparations before going to sleep, aware of the long and difficult journey that awaited them, though they knew not of the difficulties that they would be facing, or that their journey would take them to places they could only have dreamed of.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

   In a small building on a street corner in Archades two drifters were also getting ready to depart, one was sitting on a table, the other was standing nearby. The one sitting was laying what looked like playing cards upon the table beside him, and what he saw in the cards brought a smile to his face, after looking closer at them for a few moments he shuffled them and put them into a fabric pouch and tied them to his belt next to what resembled a dagger. He looked to the woman standing beside him and whispered something to her, then the two decided to stay for a few more days and get ready for a longer journey.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

   Before the first light of dawn, the three travellers were a mix of emotions, Mikael had always been a light and swift traveller, which allowed him to stay ahead of his pursuers no matter what tatics they used or how fast they moved, he was always just out of their reach. Gone without a trace of his presence, and within one night of hearing of pursuers, or to avoid conflicts over battles he had fought. Kraus had gotten used to the swiftness of travelling with him, though was still weary with only 4 hours of sleep, aware that the rest of their day would be spent on foot over rugged terrain as far from the trails and roads as possible until they had gotten closer to their destination. Jessica, however, was still weary, and walked heavily even though she was carrying the least out of all of them; she would have been excited and saddened at the thought of leaving her only home for the unknown, and a chance at glory and riches beyond her wildest dreams. The three headed out still under the cover of night, and by the time the first rays of light filled the skies they were well out of sight of Silvetdine, and were heading south towards the village Mikael had called home.
   The three travellers were moving at an inhuman pace; whenever she couldn't push herself anymore, Mikael would carry Jessica on his back, but wouldn't slow or stop. "This is a dangerous area, there are many bandits who would think nothing of attacking us in our sleep for what little valuables we have, and have likely only left us alone because of how little that we have actually worth taking, there is also an old village not far from here, it is mostly in ruins, but there should be some salvagable materials for us there, we can rest there for the night" He said to Jessica, then looked to Kraus who was beginning to show signs of fatigue "I will stand guard, the two of you can rest, we leave at dawn".
   The three had reached the village by sundown, and it was as Mikael said, it lay mostly in ruins, there were no other people living there, and securing a place to rest was simple and affordable, though it lacked on quality. They took their time to get water, eat, and catch up on their rest. "Mikael, what happened here?" Jessica was clearly upset by what she saw in front of her. "Bandits" was all the apparently calm drifter had said as he began fortifying one of the abandoned buildings that were still more or less standing. "Jessica, you can rest in here, I will be resting there". Mikael then walked out and over to Kraus "Rest if you want to, I will take the first watch"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -     [The Journey-Currently Incomplete]

   The Journey

   The following morning Jessica had woken to the sound of Mikael's blade in the wind. They were the only one's there. Kraus was nowhere to be found, and to her surprise Mikael was completely unbothered by his missing companion. Thinking for a moment on the matter, she hadn't ever once considered that Kraus would leave them. Her thoughs however drifted once more back to the melody of that sword as Mikael continued to practice, only to hone his already peerless swordplay. The thought then crossed her mind, she knew almost nothing about him, yet he had helped her twice without ever considering a reward. "Umm... Where is...." Her question was cut short by the feeling that she was being watched. She jumped and turned, only to let out a sigh of relief when she saw a familiar face. Kraus was standing there, bow over his shoulder, and a few rabbits for breakfast.
   Mikael also casually walked over to her while scheathing his sword. "I hope you have enough for another; It will be more than the three of us eating here today" Kraus was a bit confused by what Mikael said, Jessica felt a bit relieved as she now knew they were being observed and that whoever it was, likely wouldn't be hostile. On the distant horizon against the sun was a cloaked silouette that was slowly approaching the three travellers. The three continued with their morning routines to get ready for the day. Jessica bathed in the nearby river, Mikael continued to practice for several hours until he was satisfied with his improvements, and Kraus worked to prepare the morning meal.
   It had been several hours before they were approached by the newcomer. He had short messy brown hair, a cloak wrapped around him to conceal much of what he had been carrying with him, though his sturdy figure clearly was wearing an armor beneath the cloak. He walked with a twisted long staff, upon the top of the staff was a large ruby crystal held in place by wood carved into a claw-like structure. Kraus had looked up as this traveller approached and noticed a large sword also strapped to his back beneath the cloak. "You must be weary from your travels, we have some extra food, if you would like to join us for the meal" Kraus said to the newcomer, unaware of the identity of this cloaked traveller.
   The newcomer nodded and quietly took a seat near the fire, Mikael and Jessica both sat together, and Kraus sat beside Jessica as well "Mikael, do you know him?" Jessica asked as she looked over the traveller who was eating quietly. Mikael simply shook his head and continued to eat his rather small meal. Of all of them, Jessica had the largest serving, Mikael had his usual small serving and Kraus had a decent serving. The traveller had been given the rest, a strategic move that Mikael had advised them of earlier. "As you have probably figured out by now, my name is Mikael; this young lady to my left is Jessica, and next to her Kraus. What is your name?"
   "Darconne." the traveller said as he began to stand "Thank you for the meal, how much do I owe you for it?" Darconne asked them as he began readying himself to continue on his journey. Jessica responded, Kraus and Mikael simply nodded in agreement, "You don't owe us anything, it would have gone to waste if you hadn't passed by, so we should be thanking you". Jessica smiled pleasantly at him, and with that, though she hadn't realized it then, gained an ally in one of the most powerful magi to have ever lived, and one of the nine great sages. The four then discussed their journeies and where they were heading.
   "I am looking for someone, someone who is very important to me" Darconne had told them; and was not questioned further on the matter. Mikael informed him of their reasons for leaving, and their reasons for travelling, leaving as much about his past out of it as possible. Darconne, who knew, and understood this did not question him further. "If you don't have any specific destination in mind Darconne, you would be more than welcome to travel with us." Jessica chimed in happily, and made the decision for the group, but was uncontested in her decision. Darconne, who had been curious about several things in this small group of travellers nodded in agreement, he himself was happy to have some company on his journey. Others who seemed to have an unspoken agreement of respect between them. None seemed to question the others about the past, and he liked that, it meant he wouldn't have to tell them too much about himself, since he was the quiet type to begin with.
   Several days had passed since Darconne, the mysterious stranger, had begun travelling with them. Jessica had always thought to question him and the others, but never really had a reason to, so she didn't bother with it. She trusted them, and they trusted her, which made her feel more at home around them. That night however, they were ambushed by bandits, surrounded the bandits were clearly hostile, yet Mikael did not draw his sword, instead he asked that their leader here step forward for negotiation. Strangely enough their leader stepped forward; he was a tall muscular man, about 7 feet tall, a body built like a tank, dirty blonde hair, and a large scar from one side of his chest to the other. He made a gesture and the others stood down. "What is it that you are after?" Mikael asked calmly, as their leader looked them over. "It should be obvious, we want your money, on second thought, leave your money and the whench here, and you three can leave with your lives". Mikael pondered for a moment, then looked to Jessica and asked her "have you any intentions of travelling with them, or would you rather stay with us?"
   She hesitated, though she already knew her answer, she was trying to figure out what Mikael was thinking; Kraus, however, didn't seem as confident as Mikael was in the situation. He felt he was looking at things from a logical perspective. Mikael could probably handle them, but the same couldn't be said for himself or Jessica. They were outnumbered about 20 to 1, if not more. He knew they were surrounded, and the other uncertainty was the newcomer, he had no idea who this Darconne was, or what he was capable of. Darconne held out his money pouch and dropped it on the floor in front of him, demonstrating he had no intentions of fighting over its contents. Jessica shook her head "I don't know any of them, and want to travel with you; the company is better than these brigands".
   Mikael nodded, then turned back to their leader "We do not have much, but I am sure that my other companions would be more than willing to part with their purses, as for me, I carry nothing more than my sword" Mikael then pulled out a small pouch and tossed it to the bandit leader; who in turn inspected it and its contents, convinced he had little more than the sword. The bandit leader, then introduced himself as Vulcanus; and demanded they do as he instructed.
   Mikael, who didn't seem even the slightest bit impressed by this Vulcanus offered a competition then. "Vulcanus, you said your name was, if you are truely the strongest among your group, choose the nine strongest below you, and I will fight all ten of you at once. When I win, you will leave us, and never bother us again. If, by some fluke, you win, you may take that which you desire from us".

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

   Come the next sunrise; announcements of a lockdown in Archades have become public knoweledge, none could enter or leave the city without proper authentication documents, thus the departure of Elijah and Terra had once more been further delayed, yet Elijah was calm as always, the lockdown seemed to have not bothered him in the slightest, though beneath his calm front he was getting rather annoyed as he knew he would need to leave the city before his presence and identity were discovered by those in power. Terra, on the other hand, was getting rather impatient herself, she was clearly troubled by the lockdown, as she knew that these things usually only happened in preparation for large scale battle. Archades was getting ready for war, and they wanted to get out of there before the battle had begun. They had readied themselves for a large scale conflict and it had been days before public traffic out of Archades had become possible, yet public traffic entering the city was still highly limited. Kraus had wandered off to barter enterance for Mikael, Jessica, and Darconne. Elijah and Terra had walked past them as Kraus walked off; Elijah glanced over at them and had another vision, while Terra was able to vaguely percieve an immense amount of power coming from the three humble drifters, power they were likely unaware of themselves. Elijah had walked over to them, and recognized Jessica almost immediatly. Terra was following close to him, wary of the travellers and their motives. Mikael and Jessica turned to face the two strangers approaching them, Mikael however had made no moves towards his weapon, and Jessica seemed shocked to see the resembelance of a familiar face from her early childhood. Darconne simply blended into the group looking to Elijah, slightly surprised by his presence here, given the state of things in Archades.
   "Greetings weary travellers, what news do you bring of Silvetdine?" Elijah asked Mikael and Jessica, who both felt as though they knew this man from someplace, yet couldn't quite remember any place where they would have met him. The two felt compelled to listen while he spoke to them. "Silvetdine has fallen to the forces working Archades from the shadows, the time is close at hand for those who seek peace for this world to strike back against the dark forces manipulating this war from the shadows, Go forth and seek the Dragon's Eye, for with it you shall see the path you are meant to take" Elijah told Mikael, then looked to Jessica and handed her a ring case. "That is something that was to be left in your care once you came of age, I am glad that it has found its way to its rightful owner." Elijah told her as he handed her the case, then looked to Darconne, the two seemed to know eachother, as they spoke without words to eachother. "We will meet again in the land of the silver skies" Elijah said as both he and Terra walked off into the distance.

-----------------
     That is all that I have for the story so far. I hope you all enjoy it.

KnightSkyeメガン

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Re: Chronicles of Avalon: Part1-Twilight of the MoonGoddess
« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2008, 02:55:49 PM »
Okay, first off, hi.  I know I haven't even welcomed you yet, but I was intrigued by this so I decided to check it out.

I will be completely honest with you when I say that I haven't even read all of the prologue.  To be frank, all it is is one huge paragraph and I quickly found myself reading the same sentence five times.  I'm no professional writer, at least not yet, but as a reader I can tell you that that is not something you want happening. 

First off: Break up your paragraphs.  Everytime a different character talks, make a paragraph break.  I can't identify any dialogue because its all smooshed together.  Break up the huge paragraphs, and you've solved a couple of problems already.

Second: Don't over describe things.  The fun of reading is the part where you get to imagine things.  It's okay to go into detail once or twice, but not about every single thing.  Because you do that, you're making it sound like you're trying too hard.  Relax, make a few things mysterious.  Trust me, the reader appreciates being able to try to imagine the world you're creating.

Otherwise, the basic idea you have sounds like a good one.

Mikael Aurelius

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Re: Chronicles of Avalon: Part1-Twilight of the MoonGoddess
« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2008, 03:51:53 PM »
Okay, first off, hi.  I know I haven't even welcomed you yet, but I was intrigued by this so I decided to check it out.

I will be completely honest with you when I say that I haven't even read all of the prologue.  To be frank, all it is is one huge paragraph and I quickly found myself reading the same sentence five times.  I'm no professional writer, at least not yet, but as a reader I can tell you that that is not something you want happening. 

First off: Break up your paragraphs.  Everytime a different character talks, make a paragraph break.  I can't identify any dialogue because its all smooshed together.  Break up the huge paragraphs, and you've solved a couple of problems already.

Second: Don't over describe things.  The fun of reading is the part where you get to imagine things.  It's okay to go into detail once or twice, but not about every single thing.  Because you do that, you're making it sound like you're trying too hard.  Relax, make a few things mysterious.  Trust me, the reader appreciates being able to try to imagine the world you're creating.

Otherwise, the basic idea you have sounds like a good one.

Thank you; I appreciate the advice and will go into correcting at the least the first point sometime within the week. As for the second point, it will take more time to make that happen. At the current point in time I know there are several flaws, just not where to begin about fixing them to perfect (and finish) the first few chapters before I go any deeper into the story.

KnightSkyeメガン

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Re: Chronicles of Avalon: Part1-Twilight of the MoonGoddess
« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2008, 03:57:58 PM »
^^  Glad I could help then.